Loving YOU

All spiritual texts and traditions lead to the same place: back into your heart.

Paul Coelho's The Alchemist speaks a truth it takes many twists and turns for most of us to find; that the way home is not out there, but in here.

But... where is "here"?

Aha! That's just it! Over 15 years of yoga practice have led me to get it more and more each day, but I still have my moments where I feel totally and utterly LOST! It's those moments when the outside world reflects my insides: chaotic and confused. A few months into my separation my loving auntie gave me a copy of The Course in Miracles. A big dark blue book with a gold embossed title-- it looked like a new fangled version of the Bible. I took one look, flipped open the thin pages and thought, "not interested!". So I set it on my bookshelf and let it collect dust for sometime. Then, some clues started leading me to get curious. Life has some interesting ways of making us "get it" if we're not interested in paying attention. And Life sure is persistent! If one way isn't working, then it gives us more and more signs, symbols, people, and events to make us see what it wants us to see!

So... what did I see? Well, I saw in the lessons and work with a Course teacher, that the outer world is merely a reflection of my inner world. I got some of this from my yoga and spiritual practices, but I guess I didn't "get it" enough! It totally rocked my world!

So... it IS all about you-- or in this case, ME! If we can drop the concept of narcissism and expand it to a concept of Oneness... that all of life is interconnected, this becomes a very BIG idea! In the process of unwinding my feelings of separation from myself in others, I have found a deepened sense of compassion for all of life-- and the pain and suffering of others in a new way. Part of this process of unwinding involves daily shadow work. Debbie Ford really opened eyes, minds and hearts with her books on this subject! I have found daily shadow work to be an important way to come into acceptance of parts of myself I've disliked (like anger, insecurity, worry, to name a few). With a step by step process I've found helpful, I forgive myself for feeling that feeling that I've judged as "wrong" on some level and open to have it transformed (into love). It's amazing what happens. If I encounter an angry person, that same charge is gone and I can look at them with the compassion I gave myself in the process. The Universe usually gives you some practice sessions in real life (unrehearsed) to show off your hard work! And sometimes I've gotten A's... sometimes...D's-- all of that grading is done with compassion, of course! =)

Let's face it, humans are complex creatures. Our minds will trample us with all kinds of crazy thoughts if we allow them to without abandon. Loving you means loving your crazy mind-- getting to know it and understand it, and giving it space to express, release and expand.

The expansion part comes in giving YOU time to BE. The mind is like a computer and it's important to "reset" it each morning. I've found creating intentions for my day, giving gratitude for all that I have and will be receiving are great ways to center the mind for a new day. When you do this "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" flies out the window!

And the final part of loving YOU is loving your temple that is the body. Remember, we don't own these bodies-- they are not the spirit's permanent home. Just think of your body as a rental for this lifetime. When your Life is complete, that rental will be returned back to the earth-- but You (as a Soul Self) will still exist. This is fun to muse on.

Over the years, yoga and healing work have made me really LOVE and APPRECIATE my body! I have been doing nightly (or I try) epsom salt baths with lavendar essential oil. Epsom is a great way to relax the muscles and also clears away negative energy. During this time, I light some candles and listen to high vibe music (like classical or yoga station on Pandora) or listen to a spiritual talk on Youtube (Abraham/Hicks and Kryon are my current faves). When I do this, I sleep like a baby and my dreams are lucid and very clearing.

As a single mama to a 3 year old, I'm amazed I have been able to carve out the time to do what I need to do to take care of me (hey, it doesn't always happen the way I want it to-- Wren's my boss:0!)

My work makes me make ME a priority, because I can't offer others healing and relaxation if I am a tangled mess! I practice what I preach, it's the only way to live!

I am SO SO open to hearing some of your ways of LOVING YOU! Please do share.

Lots of Love, Light and Inner Peace,

Sarah ;0)

Who are You REALLY?

When I lived at Lama Foundation, a spiritual community started by Ram Dass in the late 60s/early 70s, we were called Lama Beans. The community was on a mountain just outside of Taos, New Mexico. It was 10,000 plus feet up in elevation on some old Native American land. The living was simple: straw bale houses, outhouses, outdoor showers in the summer. Solar power was our main power source. Winters were brutal up there. The community operated as a retreat center in the summer, and all community members went into hermitage mode in the non-summer months. So basically, you had 8 months of the year to go within! You were said to come into Lama a dried bean...and after being pressure cooked for a year, you left soft, mushy and delicious!

For my striving for balance self, the all work then no work schedule did not resonate! I lasted half a year in the community before I felt the need to be boiled elsewhere! ...After all, if we don't choose to be boiled, life will do it for us-- and often when we least expect it!

On the spiritual path, there is said to be many trials and tribulations. When we open to really getting to know ourselves, a Pandora's Box of chaos flows out; and that is where the fun begins!

Wren's father and I separated over a year and a half ago (we never married). It was a very hard choice to make-- as raising a child in a 2 home family was the not path I would have chosen on a conscious level for my daughters upbringing. However, a series of events and a deep whisper from my Heart led me to make this choice-- which then became a mutual choice for us both. (I believe Wren definitely "chose" us as her parents. She was a surprise pregnancy in a very new relationship-- but this may be explored more in a future post.)

For the past 18 months I have been a single parent. It has been one of the greatest challenges I have yet experienced in my life. It is truly showing me what I am made of! I will admit that this past year and a half has been filled with a lot of inner turmoil. While Wren's father is not the partner I am meant to be with for this life, I still have to co-parent with him. Our culture is permeated by divorced and separated parents trying to raise children. It is a new phenomenon and a MAJOR spiritual lesson! How do 2 people that just don't get each other-- or maybe even like each other-- continue to raise a child to be open to their own heart and mind on this planet? That is something I am currently living the answer to.

Unfortunately, we have had to get lawyers and are in the process of working out a legal agreement-- which is an area of life I am totally new to! I definitely have a greater appreciation for lawyers and what they represent in situations like this!

This whole situation has opened me to my Spirituality and Who I AM, on a deeper level. To be honest, it is revealing a lot of fears and shadows. It is true that we must walk through the darkness to appreciate the light. I am definitely in the midst of this darkness right now. My practice-- yoga, reiki and meditation, is my saving grace.
My offerings to others have also been a saving grace. I feel so, so blessed to be doing the work that I do in the world. When my clients come in, they give me SO, SO much, just by being who they are, where they are! It is amazing to also feel the bliss and peace of the healings they receive (and ultimately give to themselves on a higher level). When my client feels peace, I feel it too!

Right now, I am feeling humbled and grateful for the simple blessings of life. When I have been experiencing mental stress over my current legal predicament, I ask the Universe for guidance. Last night I got a fortune cookie message that said:

...Would you call that a sign???

I am reminded that we are never alone. In our deepest, darkest moments, we are held, supported and guided by Life!

I am GRATEFUL for you, who is reading this. You have stepped into my Heart... which holds both dark and light in this season of going within.

NAMASTE, my reader. THE LIGHT IN ME HONORS THE LIGHT WITHIN YOU!

Here is a video that helped me recently, if you are going through some troubles, maybe it will help you too!

I'm going to post the Rumi poem about the chickpea that was our theme at Lama...

Chickpea to Cook

A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot
where it's being boiled.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

The cook knocks him down with the ladle.

"Don't you try to jump out.
You think I'm torturing you.
I'm giving you flavor,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.

Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this."

Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.

Eventually the chickpea
will say to the cook,
"Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can't do this by myself.

I'm like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn't pay attention
to his driver. You're my cook, my driver,
my way into existence. I love your cooking."

The cook says,
"I was once like you,
fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,
and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.

My animal soul grew powerful.
I controlled it with practices,
and boiled some more, and boiled
once beyond that,
and became your teacher

~Rumi

Just let it be!

In Japan there is a phrase: wabi sabi... which is essentially the "art of imperfection". In essence, the means that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect" (Powell, Richard R. (2004). Wabi Sabi Simple. Adams Media. ISBN 1-59337-178-0).

New moms-- and parents in general, have very little downtime. It is still a rare moment when I can sit and read a magazine. When Wren was of the young age of 6 months or so, I was by some miracle enjoying one of those rare moments of quiet. In this rare moment, I picked up a Natural Living magazine that had been sitting in my "to read" pile for a month. When I read an article about "wabi sabi"-- which was referencing the external environment, I looked about my cluttered living room with piles of laundry to be folded and put away, dishes to be collected and washed, and baby things strewn about, I felt a sense of peace instead of the overwhelm I'd felt for months on end.

I think when we enter parenthood, we realize that "to do" list is going to be endless. There comes a point when we have to accept that everything is not going to get done when we want it to... and an acceptance of this ongoing state of "wabi sabi". In that imperfection, the Japanese find perfection. In that state of the imperfect, lies the perfect: the present moment. It was a miracle (which A Course in Miracles calls simply, a shift in perception) to be able to see peace in piles of laundry and clutter. In a split second what my mind had seen as chaos and had been taunting me with all day "to do's", suddenly became the peace and perfection of what is. God/Goddess/All That Is... whatever you want to call the Creator of this reality... does not judge; the human mind judges.

My suggestion to you: take a moment to find the wabi sabi in the world within and around you. See if the storm you see and feel can suddenly become: PERFECT.

In essence, perfection does not mean tidiness or clean thoughts or pure feelings, but simply being completely and fully immersed-- PRESENT, with the current state of things. In this presence IS Perfection. It is easier to understand when experienced.

Of course practices like Yoga, Meditation, Reiki or walks in nature, all take us there with greater ease. But remember the point and purpose of spiritual practice is to be able to find that Zen IN the chaos.

So... find your ZEN now! And please share with us your moments of wabi sabi! One person's peace is the peace of all of us!

"When one sits in the hoop of people, one must be responsible because all creation is related. And the hurt of one is the hurt of all. And the honor of one is the honor of all. And whatever we do effects everything in the Universe." ~White Buffalo Calf Woman The Wisdom of the Native Americans

Peace & Love,
Sarah ;)

www.innerbloomyoga.com

This is it!

Children get it. Watch them play. They are immersed in the moment. Completely present. Open. At one with life and what is in front of them.

At what age do we “forget” that this is it? When is it that we want to escape instead of immerse?

They say there are 2 emotions: fear and love. So with love, come the myriad of positive emotions the conscious mind seeks; with fear, the negative… the mind supposedly rebels against.

I have recently been reading up on swtichwords and the subconscious mind. Many of you who come in for sessions or yoga classes know that I base the practice on intentions. I have been discovering more and more the power of intention for both the conscious and subconscious mind-- and the impact they have on self-healing. It is true that “what you stare at grows.”

The teachings of Abraham (checkout The Vortex by Jerry and Esther Hicks) emphasize that thought creates vibration… which in turn creates our present experience.

Let’s say you have a desire to move somewhere. An example I love was when my aunt and uncle got married (they were hippies in the 70s) in college. Upon graduating, the world was their oyster. They knew they wanted to move, but the intention they set was. “We want to live anywhere but New York City.” And where do you
think my uncle landed a job teaching journalism? Columbia. New York was their home for 20 some years! Thoughts become things. I am learning that the Universe is like a magnet-- it picks up the strongest vibration and rolls with it. My aunt and uncles’ stronger vibration was a hate for NYC. The Universe, like a magnet, gave them what they were projecting the strength of their minds and hearts into.

I came to the yoga mat at a time when my energy was predominantly in fear. I hated school but I liked “being good student”. I remember discovering yoga when I felt willing to try anything to get me out of a state of constant anxiety that I kept myself in. What I didn’t expect was the calm that would come from simply being with my breath, connecting more deeply to my body, and in turn, opening to the depths of my own heart. I became hooked. However, I was still a newbie to the whole self-realization “game”. I thought there was somewhere to get to-- some pot of gold
at the end of this breathing, body-bending rainbow I was immersing myself in daily. Then my sister died suddenly.

When life throws you curve-balls-- some miracle is waiting to be discovered. It was this unexpected pain that hurled me deeper into my practice and slowed me way down. I had been riding a very fast train that was supposedly going to some magical endpoint where I would find ultimate peace inside and out. Then it came to a
jarring halt.

When I went to yoga class a week or so after my sister, Rebecca’s death in 2000, my muscles spasmed in poses that normally felt effortless. My teacher noticed my struggles in class and told me about restorative yoga. She said it helped her through a sudden loss. So I did a few private sessions with my her and found something meaningful. For about 9 months my yoga practice involved simply lying over props for 20-30 minutes-- opening my body in an effortless way. It was a sacred time that got me out of a deep grief-ridden depression and back into enjoying my life in a new and
richer way.

On Halloween in 2001, the year anniversary of Rebecca’s death, I felt the wave of grief rise up with the massive intensity of a tidal wave. We had a memorial ceremony planned with her best high school friends and family that night. When that emotion arose, I knew I needed to go into my practice. I put myself in supta badha konasana (reclined bound angle pose), my favorite restorative pose. Both a heart and hip opener, it was a gentle and profound release at the same time. In those 20 minutes I just melted into the blankets and pillows underneath me (I didn’t have “real”
yoga props at the time”).



I remember telling myself to “just breath, Sarah” when the grief would wash over me in painful waves. And then, maybe 10 or so minutes into the pose, there it was-- bliss! The complete and unutterable bliss of being immersed in the NOW. “THIS is why people practice,” I thought to myself.
Suddenly the wave of the past pain and dread of the future did not exist. I had finally arrived in the NOW. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced (next to that NOW moment of looking at my daughter just after I pushed her out of me!).

I felt an overwhelming joy. I also felt my sister present with me in the room. “How could I not have felt her before this?” I thought. The thought, “Rebecca would want us to celebrate and not mourn for her today” came to me in a flash.

I gently rolled to my side and arose from the posture with the urge to tell everyone to dress up in costume and come ready to celebrate Rebecca’s thespian-like life. And that’s what we did! It was a beautiful night of joy, tears, and celebration of a beautiful young woman. To this day I thank that moment in my practice that created a beautiful vibration to carry us through a very difficult day with grace and ease.

This is it. Here and now.

And that was my sister’s motto at the end of her life here. I actually want to thank and honor Rebecca Marie Lamb for goading me to take my first yoga class at Omega Institute the summer before she left this earth. I still remember the yoga mat she left me, with a worn away spot the size of her heel on it. She is the reason I began Inner Bloom. It took me some time, but there was a miracle in all that pain. 20 years of sisterhood have left me with a deep, deep love for life-- the human experience, and appreciating this moment.

This is it. Here and Now.

You don’t have to go to a yoga mat to experience it. Doing something you love helps. But just stop, right now and take a deep breath. Feel that life-force energy flowing through you. Give gratitude for it. What a blessing it is to be alive and have you reading my words. What a blessing it is for me to be writing them! ;)

The pot of gold is here, now.

YOU and I.

The human experience is filled with ups and downs. But when we are truly present… there is something magical in all of it. My wish for us all is that we keep realizing the magic. Real eyes are the window to bliss. And what I offer in my practice (yoga, Reiki, reflexology), have all helped me to have more real eyes to see life clearly, as it is, here and now.

This is it.
So savor!;)

Much Love & Light,
Sarah (12/15/13)

www.innerbloomyoga.com

Be ~ Here ~ Now